Follow this checklist one at a time. They are in order. Then you will get out of bottom. Trust me.
1) Acknowledge that you’ve been trying to be chosen by other people or things. Stop that.
2) Take a shower. You smell like bottom. Scrub hard. Wash your hair. Shave. Brush your teeth. Oh, go to the bathroom before you shower. Stand outside the shower naked, wet, take a picture of yourself and post it on facebook (kidding).
3) Sleep 8-10 hours. Sleeping is rejuvenating. You won’t care if you go broke while you sleep. You also can’t obsess on loneliness while you sleep. In general, sleeping is pretty good. If you are having trouble sleeping, take some natural remedy or take some anti-anxiety medicine. Whatever it takes – you need to sleep. I was addicted to Klonopin for quite some time when I had to learn to sleep.
3) Bed Yoga. For ten minutes before you go to sleep and for ten minutes when you wake up, just be quiet and stretch.
Stretch more. Breathe deep. Look for the light that’s peeking out of the window, listen to the sounds. Stretch some more. Think of the things you are grateful for, even if they are few.
4) Exercise. Take a walk for ten minutes. That’s it. We’re trying to get off of bottom here. You don’t need to go to the gym for an hour. When you walk try to look at the rooftops. Find the prettiest rooftop. Look at the people who pass you. Each one is absorbed in their world. They are all time traveling to their regrets or their fears. Just for a little bit you can walk and you don’t have to time travel.
5) Protein. Don’t load up on carbs today. Eat eggs. Then eat fish for a late lunch, early dinner. No carbs. Just try it. It can’t hurt. I promise you you won’t starve. People eat well in the United States. And don’t eat a lot. Late breakfast, early dinner. That’s it.
6) No alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant and causes cancer and stomach troubles. Why add that to your misery? I get it – you lose inhibitions on alcohol and that helps you to be more courageous. But you don’t need it today. There’s nothing to be courageous for.
7) Don’t talk to people who will put you down. If you have to be around them ( a boss, a child, a parent, a spouse, etc) then just don’t engage. Don’t gossip with them. Don’t try to please them. Don’t call them back. Don’t say to yourself, “well, I have to call them back.” You don’t. Do you think 100 years from now it will matter if you call them back today? 100 years from now nobody will care at all what you did today.
8) Read. Read books that will make you smarter or that will make you laugh. Or books that will make you feel spiritual. Actually, this morning read all of the above. Every since I hit bottom I try to read all three categories every day. This is not to say, “oh, I’m so great, I read these three types of books every day”. It’s just that if I don’t I can hit bottom again. Gravity works on the soul. If you don’t keep it up, then gravity drags it down to the bottom again. I hate that.
9) Write. I write every day. I’m writing this. Sometimes I write bad stuff. Sometimes I write ok stuff. Sometimes I write things I’m happy with. But everything I write exercises my brain. The brain is constantly forming connections between neurons. If you don’t use those connections they start to freeze and then stagnate.
Repeat 1-9 tomorrow.
10) Surrender. If you do all of the above, then there’s nothing else you can do. You did the prep. There’s no excuses. There’s no reason for you to say, “I can’t enjoy the summer. My bike is broken!” So what? You’ll find other ways to enjoy it. Take the 10-day excuse diet. You don’t need excuses anymore. Excuses are for people trying to be chosen by others. They drag you down.
If you did #1-9, you did the preparation. You’re still at bottom. You’re still broke and lonely. People are still not choosing you. But you are choosing yourself.
I’m not psychic. I lied to everyone because I thought it would make people like me.
But then I started to choose myself and I came all the way back. For now.