Sometimes what gets in the way are unrecognised philosophies of extremism. People either believe themselves to be responsible for everything that befalls them, or they consider themselves victimised by the outside world. “Doer” and “done to” are both damaging polarities.
So, for me, steps one and two for a personal philosophy are neither to underestimate nor overestimate one’s individual capabilities. This becomes easier if we can link up with those pesky things called feelings. We need to acknowledge that what we first think or feel may not reflect the whole truth. We need to question our knee-jerk responses to situations, to pause and consider them in greater depth, so that we can be sure we are not responding out of fear or prejudice.