from manila, philippinesgoing back to queens, new york tomorrow morning. long flight. would love to live in the philippines. but it would be hard here. so many people seem to need help all the time; want to be carefree too. always of two minds. or wanting two opposing things at the same time. story of my life. not wanting to give up one for the other. always want to make both work and not really succeeding. too selfish to be able to keep balance. it is possible. just need to be less selfish. glad to have seen ma. did a lot of shopping. let’s see, here are my faves: chem-free cotton clothes in bangkok; good, mass-produced rice wine (am considering marketing it in the US); crocheted shrug-sweater. also some business leads: the rice wine; scrubs with my nephew carlo, the green cotton from bangkok; and scrap metal for gjp’s brother. went to derma; glad i did; just need to do better with using the creams regularly. just need to be better at it. todo: follow up on conversion of tub to shower in bayview; raybans for monching; guitar hero for vincent; go to gym more often already. i want to be thinner, lighter, have clearer skin, more cheerful, positive, even if things seem to be grim. alright, done. amen. novena for it. done.